Mad Dash

I panicked.

No it wasn't a panic attack in the clinical sense, but yesterday I ran into a situation where I felt trapped.

I always enjoy Saturdays, especially with the ones where I have nothing on the agenda other than sleeping in, doing nothing, or my required engagements are late in the afternoon. Yesterday was no exception. That is, until I decided to let my dogs out before heading out of the house.

My dogs are quite regular, you see. They let me know like clockwork when they need to go out. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that a) they are retired racer greyhounds used to a strict regimen, and b) they haven't lost that sense of schedule. This is rather ironic, considering that I hate being scheduled. But, I love my dogs, and I don't mind making sure that they stay on track.
That's why I make sure that they're always fed at the same time, 6 a.m. and 6 p.m. and that they go out for a romp at 6 a.m., 11 a.m., 5 p.m. and 10 p.m.

Well, yesterday, they went out a little later than normal. Across the street, my neighbors were having their rummage sale. As a result, there were tons of cars parked along the street on both sides, with one car that happened to block one-third of my driveway entrance. I probably would have been o.k. with that, except my driveway approach is only a single car entry, and not the double-wide approaches that most houses have nowadays. Well, I thought I would let out my dogs, and then head out. I figured that I would go back inside, do a few dishes prior to leaving, and let my hounds check out what was going on outside.

After about 15 minutes, I went to go get them to bring them inside, and I suddenly caught glimpse of an individual at the rummage sale that looked like someone I didn't want to see. I won't bore everyone as to why, but I would have rather had a root canal, played golf, watched NASCAR, eaten squash, went fishing, eaten watermelon or salmon, or wore black high top tennis shoes than to encounter this person. I glanced over a second time, and sure enough it was whom I thought it was.

I panicked.

I quickly whisked my dogs into the house, shut the door behind me, dead bolted the door, shut all of the blinds, and stood in my kitchen-all the while tapping my foot on the linoleum and thinking to myself, "NOW what the hell am I going to do!?" Knowing this individual, they would with certainty have come across the street, knocked on my door, and then have proceeded to engage in a conversation that I know I would want to avoid.

I had to get out of my house, and QUICK!

I bolted for the door, grabbed my keys, whisked myself into the garage faster than Hurricane Fran on a Thursday afternoon. I felt myself standing by the button to open the garage door, readying myself to dash for my car so that I could hop into it without this person seeing my legs dash across the back of my car as the garage door was opening. I haven't moved THAT fast since missing my flight connections in Chicago when I went to Florida last March.

The garage door was still going up as I turned the ignition on my car, and threw the car into reverse. Thank GOD I didn't start backing up as I either would have taken out the garage door, or ripped the antenna off the top of my vehicle. I quickly backed out of the driveway, and noticed this person waiving like crazy to get my attention while I was looking out my rear view mirror.

I got to the end of my driveway, and just barely had enough room to turn and head down the street without hopping over the curb and making myself look like a complete idiot. Then again, any bargain shopper at my neighbor's rummage sale would most likely have said, "who's THAT idiot?" after watching me tear out of my driveway and down the street.

YES!!!!! Free! Whew! Then it hit me....did I close the garage door? More importantly, did I bring the dogs back in? And even more importantly, GOD, did I HIT anyone or anything? I needed to make a reconnaissance fly-by past my house to make sure. I got around the block, and went up the street on the OTHER side of my house, slowed WAY down to see if this person was still standing there (or standing at my house). Whew....nope. The coast was clear. No dogs left unattended, and no doors left open or ajar.

The dumbest thing about this whole panic episode was that I was worried that this person might see that I was trying to avoid them. An amoeba could probably have guessed I was. But it sure would have been great to see on video.

Where's the xanax when you need it?