St. Maarten Day 1

So flying in business class on a long trip is kind of a good gig I might add. What I loved about it was the leg room, the endless service, and the drinks. Nothing starts a vacation like a bloody mary at 6 am before your plane even departs, but after having stayed up the whole night before, I felt it owed to me. Well, needless to say, it put me out for about a half hour of the plane ride down to Atlanta where I needed to catch another flight to St. Maarten. I managed to make it to where I needed to be, and luckily for me, the gate where I needed to be was two gates down. Luckily for me, there was no OJ moments sprinting through an airport terminal hoping to catch the one and only flight that day to St. Maarten like I've had in two other previous trips. A sight it would be, yes, had that happened, but alas it did not. Unfortunately, I could have had several more drinks that day had I wanted to, however, I knew that I still had to pick up a rental car that day, and being in a foreign land, I didn't want to be driving inappropriately so as to land me in some gulag. After all, I've seen several episodes of "Locked Up Abroad." I didn't want to be that guy. The flight to St. Maarten was about 4 hours from Atlanta. It was pretty much uneventful, except that the entire group flying down there were just as anxious and excited as I was to arrive at our destination. I, on the other hand was still worrying about what I was going to do all week, how was I going to get the car, what would happen if I made a wrong turn, what if I got a flat tire, what if I hate it, what if I can't connect to the internet to attend a conference call.....and the worry list could go on and on. It's no wonder I have no hair.... Well, we arrived in St. Maarten, skimming over the top of the heads of the gawkers on Maho Beach landing at Princess Juliana International Airport. The first thing I noticed was that there was no air conditioning in the immigration holding tank. All I kept thinking was that I was sweating more than Mike Tyson in a spelling bee, and was certain that I didn't smell all that wonderful having been up all night and all day the day before. I managed to clear customs without issue and proceeded to pick up my vehicle. It was pretty easy finding everything, and the shuttle took me directly to the Avis car place. Entrusting me with their Toyota Corolla, I headed out on the unfamiliar and foreign road, and proceeded to immediately get turned around upon hitting my first roundabout. I ended up heading back into the airport. Yes. Literally into it. Well, two more circles around the roundabout (thinking all the while of National Lampoon's European Vacation...."Look kids, Big Ben, Parliament"), I got going in the correct direction, and literally 4 minutes later, made it to my resort, where I temporarily parked my car in order to check in. After being accosted by a security guard with pointy teeth, I was redirected to take my car to the parking garage around the corner. After getting my ticket, I found a parking spot, meandered my way back to the hotel, and proceded to check in. I was informed that I was upgraded to a suite, and that after asking about the rental car, everything would be ok. I had nothing to worry about. Whew. Made it to the hotel, made it to the suite, which had a huge living room, a huge bed, and a huge bathroom with spa tub, and a balcony view of the pool grounds, I was feeling great about everything. I then found the first bar I could find, managed to have several cocktails, and met Jack, Jim and a couple of other people sitting around the pool bar, hosted by the effervescent Sheryl....whose charm and accent (and efficiency for drink making) are unrivaled by anyone I've ever met. After that bar closed, I was able to hang out with Jim, and several other people at the main lobby bar until it closed (and until I shut down), and made it to my room for a well deserved rest. Day one was a success!

St. Maarten Respite

So this fall, I decided to do something a bit different.


It's been a stressful year and a half, I first have to say. With the loss of my mom and subsequent settling of her estate, combined with working a ton, I realized that I needed a vacation.


This seems at face value a very easy thing to accomplish. The problem is, when you're single, it's really hard to find other people to accompany you in travel. I spent many months trying to decide where to go, and who to go with. Having gone with friends previously and having loved every minute of it, it's pretty hard to find a place where you can all agree, and still be able to afford it at the same time.


Running out of time in the year, and still needing to take vacation time, I decided to do something that I have NEVER done previously: to vacation alone.


You hear a lot of people online say that they've done it before, and that they absolutely love it. Having been on organized tours with people that have gone solo, I had the preconception that it would be something that I could never ever do. But realizing my limitations in time and in companion options, I decided that if I want to travel, I may just have it along.


For several months, I spent a lot of time researching different places, listing pros and cons to each choice, and reading countless online reviews. After hesitating to pull the trigger, I must have been caught at a weak moment when I hit "send" and booked an all-inclusive vacation. After throwing up a bit, and saying to myself "what the hell have you just done," I realized I was committed.


It was an all inclusive vacation to the island of St. Maarten, at the Sonesta Maho Beach Resort and Casino. It had good reviews on the whole, and was located in an interesting spot: right next to the international airport, and a beach that abuts the runway.


For the next two months after I booked the trip, I counted down the days, some days thinking "what the hell did i do?" Other days, "get me the hell out of here." And when the day arrived prior to my departure, I stressed for most of the day thinking, "what the hell am I doing to do," or "what if I'm bored," or "what if I hate every minute?"


After exhausting the what-ifs and trying to find all of the necessary items for my vacation: passport, cash, credit card, driver's license, swimsuit, sunscreen, and basic clothing, I stayed up the entire evening since my flight left Saturday morning, November 24, 2012 at 6 a.m. from O'Hare.


And on my way I was!

Post PRK Days 4 and 5

Yesterday was day 4. It was probably one of the worst days so far.

I had read about this in several blogs that day 4 is probably one of the worst days. I couldn't see anything. I couldn't read anything. I couldn't make out faces on the television. Anything with any sort of bright light was like a laser beam to my eyes. I ended up wearing my sunglasses most of the time yesterday. Besides that, I had to have a follow up appointment with the doctor.

It was a very discouraging day.

So what did I do? I slept. I don't think I have slept so much in my entire life as I have the last four days. It doesn't seem like it would take that much out of you, but when you add the stress, the minimal discomfort this surgery gives off, and the sitting around waiting for things to get clearer, there really isn't much to do but sleep. I did manage to make it back in one piece from the drug store, because I was in dire need of refreshing moisturizing drops for my eyes. They seemed to help some, but when you can't see anything, a cool relief is a minor solace in comparison.

I think the biggest concern that went through my mind was whether or not I would be able to see again, or whether or not my vision was going to be like this forever. I kept telling myself that it wouldn't. But, the problem was, I was not very convincing to myself.

I went to the doctor. The nurse, who had asked me to read the eye chart, told me to cover one eye and read the letters on the screen. I couldn't. The letters got larger. I still couldn't. The letters got larger again, and I could barely read them. It didn't help much when the nurse exclaimed, "wow, your eyesight is worse than the last time we checked it."

I wasn't very amused.

The doctor then checked my eyes again. The corneas were not yet healed completely, which meant that I needed to continue my antibiotic drops and my anti-inflammatory drops for another two days, in addition to keeping the contact lense "bandages" on my eyes. For those of you that have worn soft contact lenses, imagine wearing your contacts in your eyes for 4 days straight, sleeping in them and all. Yes, that's what my eyes felt like.

I went home, very disconcerted, hoping that my eyesight would improve, which the doctor assured me it would. So I sat, again, in the dark, waiting for my eyes to improve once more, and fell asleep early in the evening, not awakening until 5 am this morning.

Today, by contrast, I actually notice a big change. Things are a little clearer, although my left eye seems to lag about 1 day behind my right eye. Though, today, I am able to read, read street signs, and the haze is for the most part gone. I am able to actually read text messages from friends on my phone (not that I get many of them, since I really don't text a whole lot). In fact, the first thing that I was able to do this morning, was to read the crawling news items at the bottom of the news channel I typically watch. This was quite encouraging. In addition, I was able to see the street signs on my street a bit clearer, as well as see individual blades of grass and the buds on the trees. Refreshing eye drops seem to help quite a bit, as they make my eyes feel less dry, in addition to helping bring clarity to some things that I see.

So on all, today was a much better day. Again, I am waiting for my left eye to catch up. I'm hoping that everything will be well for day 6, tomorrow, as I have another doctor's appointment to check my eyes again. Apparently I happen to be one of the 25% of the cases where the cornea takes a bit longer to heal.

Lucky me.

I will say that I feel a bit more confident that I am going to get through this thing. I'm certain that the end result will be more than I could expect. I guess when it comes to healing, I'm not a very patient person.

I need to learn patience.

PRK Day 3

It's actually day 3 and then some. I wok up yesterday, Sunday, and noticed that my eyes were very sensitive to the light. It seemed like the waterworks were turned on, and someone forgot to shut the valve off. My eyes felt really tired. Part of the issue could have been all of the activity that I had the day before hanging out with friends for the day, but part of it seems like it is a norma part of the process. I was able to get going in the morning, although it seems that the hot water from the shower and the steam from the water make my eyes sensitive.

Anyhow, I was able to go to church with my family, though somewhat strange that I wasn't having anything to do with the service. It seemed as if I was at work, but just observing (as best I could with the eyes that I have right at the moment). While able to see about 85 percent of the stuff on the bulletin and in the hymnal (with a few added words to make the song my own), I managed to get through everything ok. By the time I got home, I was ready for a nap.

I slept most of the afternoon on Sunday, waking up again to the gauzy hazy views that seem to be part of this journey. At first in the morning, I thought I may have lost both of my protectived contact lenses. It was a little disconcerting to find my super cool plastic eye shields laying on the pillow next to me. Apparently I had taken them off during the night. Well, no worries.

The evening constituted a day of resting, laying in the recliner, and not doing much of anything but looking at a fuzzy television screen. At least I was able to hear most of what was going on. I ended up going to be early, and by early, that tould be 930 pm.

I slept pretty soundly, though I woke up at about 645 am and wasn't really able to get back to bed. Much like yesterday at church, my eyes felt like an auto zoom lens on a camera that had run amok, or at least had a mind of their own. I have no idea what was going on, but the best thing I could do was just to shut my eyes for a little while until my eyes settled down.

I was actually able to see quite well out of my right eye this morning, and my left eye seems like it is about 2 days behind. Nothing like having two separate eyes doing their own things.

Most of the day today I spent sleeping. I actually slept all morning, getting up just before noon. Even though I thought I could try to drive to pick up my dogs, that foolish thought dissipated quickly after about 2 blocks down the road. Luckily I had the common sense to turn back around. My brother was a saint, and assisted me in fetching my dogs from the kennel.

This afternoon, all I have done was sleep, sleep, and sleep. I don't think I have ever slept so much in one period of time like I have lately. I keep getting reminded by my dear friend Naomi that I had major surgery. I suppose she's right.

The hardest part right now is just waiting for things to clear up. It would be nice to be able to read, be able to see things with a bit more definition, and not have my eyes totally water at the first sight of any kind of light. I now know what a vampire must feel like.

Besides the waiting, I am truly grateful to have my dogs home again, as it is nice to have company during the day. I know in the end everything will be wonderful, at least I keep telling myself that. But I am really trying to learn how to ask for help when I need it, which is an extremely hard thing for me to do given my independent streak I have.

Anyhow, I am hoping that tomorrow and tomorrow's doctor's appointment goes well, and that things are progressing as they should. Only time will tell. The biggest thing now is just to stay positive, patient, and know that things will work out. Sometimes waiting is the hardest part.

Day 2

I am starting day 2 of my post PRK journey. This morning my left eye felt like complete shit. I felt as if I had gotten caught in the middle of a sandstorm, and a bunch of sand was thrown in my left eye. Putting the drops in burned like hell, only hotter and more intense than probably hell has to offer.

Anyhow, I was overwhelmed this morning with being able to see the outline of the numbers on my alarm clock. So after trying to do as much as one can do in this circumstance, my friend Naomi again took me to my follow up appointment today.

They were completely ready for me. They asked me how things went, and I explained my situation to them. Perfectly normal they said. It then came time to read the eye chart. My right eye is seeing at about 20/30, and my left eye (when it wasn't gushing tears like Iguazu Falls) was seeing about 20/50. I was told this is really good progress. I'm encouraged.

Things look as if I'm looking through a piece of gauze, but on the whole it's amazing to realize that I'm seeing as much as I am without the assistance of corrective lenses.

It's overwhelming, but I'm looking forward to seeing how this journey through PRK (which actually means photorefractive keratectomy) is going to go.

PRK Journey

No this isn't about a trip to North Korea, as that would be the DPRK. Rather, this is about my journey I'm currently taking with having PRK surgery (I believe it statnds for photorefractive keratotomy). Yes, laser eye surgery to improve my vision.

Yesterday I had PRK surgery. Since October 2011, I have been preparing myself for this. I initially set up my consultation with the opthamology department at Mercy Clinic in Janesville. They were very friendly, answered many questions that I had, and subsequently prepared myself for what was to come. Having worn corrective lenses since the age of 5, starting with glasses and then migrating toward contact lenses at age 12, I've really never remembered what I was like to not have to wear glasses. My life, as it were, has always been looking through a deep haze.

Anyhow, prior to my consultation and subsequent surgery, I was unable to wear contact lenses. This was fine for me, as the end result, I figured, would be well worth the inconvenience of having to wear my glasses all day, every day, for several weeks. This is quite an inconvenience. I don't know how many people do this, but in talking to a dentist friend whom I recentlly visited for a routine check up who does the same thing, I actually go so far as to have a set of "sleeping glasses. You know, the glasses where you really don't care whether or not they get a bit twisted, bows completely askew, etc., just because you slept with them, on them, near them.

Anyhow, this is always an inconvenience. Well, by the time the consult came, I really had to make sure that from a scheduling perspective (since a good share of my life, career is spent either in front of a computer or reading music), I had to make sure that it fit my scheduling properly.

The day of the consultation, I was very impressed with the ophthamology department at Mercy, especially my doctor, Dr. Thomassen. Due to a small thin spot on my right cornea, I was excluded for the most current LASIK surgery, but the doctor indicated that I would be a candidate for PRK. While a bit more intensive from a surgical standpoint, it would hopefully net the same end result as LASIk.

Well, I had scheduled my appointment. It was set for February 10, 2012, again several weeks after my consultation. I bit the bullet and resigned myself to having to wear glasses for an extended period of time.

As the surgery day approached, I received a call from the clinic informing me that I would have to postpone my surgery for a month, as my doctor had to have emergency surgery. Sitting on pins and needles up until that point, with thoughts racing around my brain about whether or not I would go blind, whether or not it would work, whether or not....well, a lot of things, I was disappointed, but decided I would rather have things by a doctor that wasn't feeling 100% up to par.

By the time my re-scheduled date of March 16th rolled around, I was getting very anxious to get this procedure over with.

Well, surgery day came. A dear friend of mine agreed to bring me to the clinic and wait to drive me home. I arrived at my scheduled time of 9:15, and waited. Given that the doctor had to reschedule a plethora of patients that day due to his unexpected health circumstance, they were running a bit behind. But, eventually my name was called, and I went back to have my eyes examined one more time to make sure that nothing had changed since the last appointment, and that I was still ok to proceed with the surgery.

Once that was done, the dear nurse on the doctor's team went over the myriad of instructions of what I needed to do. The first question was, "here, we're going to give you this....it's valium....to take the edge off....have you ever had valium?" Being one that rarely even takes aspirin, I hadn't. I really didn't know what to expect. Luckily, it just made me a bit sleepy, while still being in control of my inhibitions, which was a good thing, as I have no filter to what I say when my inhibitions are down.

Anyhow, I was then let to the laser room. They sat me in the chair and tilted me back. At first I felt as if I was going to slide right off the chair, and inquired as to whether this ride required me to wear my seatbelt...and...if they had seatbelts with this thing. Well, after being adjusted into place, they prepared my eyes.

Well, prior to going into the laser room, I had to have two doses of numbing agent drops placed into my eyes. This was a third round. They then waited for them to take effect. They then proceeded to take some gummy tape stuff to peel my eyelids open. It was very sticky. The next step was to then take some sort of medieval forcep type of device to hold my eye open. It was a bit weird, and was a bit stretchy.

Finally, the last step prior to surgery, was to use a buffer type of tool to prepare the surface of my eye before the laser began. This was quite possibly the weirdest, unsettling part of the whole thing. The tool, which to me seemed very much like the polishing tool a dentist uses after they've finished cleaning your teeth, was then brought down to my eye, and they proceeded to buff my eyeball. It was REALLY weird. Felling just a bit of pressure, and being able to see the circular buffer swirling around, it was unlike anything I've ever experienced.

Well, then came the laser. Placing this machine over my eye, all I had to do was to stare into a red light. Hearing the assistant do the equivalent of a rocket launch, "verifying...calculating....processing...proceed...," the laser started. With 33 seconds of snaps and cracks, and an occasional whiff of something burning (my eyeball), it was over. They then repeated the same process for my right eye.

They then place a couple of contact lens "bandages" on my eyes, took a couple of plastic shields, taped them over my eyes, and handed me some pretty sweet sunglasses, and sent me on my way.

Having not been able to see for 37 years of my life without corrective lenses, actually being able to see faces, see the clock, etc., was a bit overwhelming.
My friend was there to wait for me to come out, and I went on my way.

All the while, I was actually testing what I was able to see while on the drive to pick up lunch and then go home, signs, license plates, billboards, everything. My dear friend was so patient with me and affirmed my every identification. It was a pretty emotional thing for me. This emotion, probably due to relief, stress, being overwhelmed, and incredibly happy, was very intense. While my eyes were somewhat sore, and very sensitive, it really was something else.

Having had lunch, and sitting in my recliner, I was able to take a nap for a bit (recommended by the doctor), and relax. How great it was to be able to read some of the stuff on the television!

After my friend left, I took a break, sat back in the recliner, and fell asleep, all the while with my wonderful plastic shields taped to my face. I think I woke up eventually at 9:30p.m., and wasn't sure if I was going to be able to get back to sleep. The doctor had given me something to help me sleep (temazipam), but remembering that that was something that was given to my mother to sleep through pain while she was ill, I decided to avoid using it at all costs. Luckily, I was able to sleep through much of the night without interruption.

Waking up this morning, it was really something to be able to see the alarm clock, and to see the TV. While my eyes still feel like I have sand in them, and that I cannot focus on things for long periods of time yet, the overall experience I have had has been overwhelming.

As i wait for my follow up appointment today, I can only say it's been amazing so far.