Full Contact Optometry

It's been a while since my last post, and I am working to get some entries put together to make up for lost time. However I feel compelled to share my visit to the optometrist today.

Having recently had some changes to my insurance coverage, I had to change optometrists. At first glance, I was rather impressed that I was able to get in right away today, after calling earlier this morning. It was a convenient time, and very convenient from where I work. Luckily, unlike my last experience with my former optometrist, my doctor didn't have to leave while I was sitting in the "chair" in order to respond to some contractors that had set off alarms at his home, only to leave me sitting in the chair for over an hour.

No. This didn't happen.

Nor did this doctor screw me over (yet) with some ridiculously priced merchandise.

It was interesting, however, that the assistant had one HELL of a time getting my information on the computer. Now, I have to admit that at times I talk to myself whenever I'm trying to figure out something. This woman was (I hope) asking a constant string of rhetorical questions. On a couple of occasions, I found myself answering them, though I shouldn't have.

Then, when trying to pull up my record on the computer, she asked me, "your name's not Arnold, is it?" Hmm....no...last time I checked, it wasn't.

After a battery of tests, I met the doctor. He isn't the friendliest, and I didn't see him crack a smile once during the interaction. In fact, on one occasion as he was leaning the special chair back, something gave way, and I felt as if I should either be a) on the Space Shuttle Endeavor, or b) a victim of Sweeney Todd. And I started to laugh. I was surprised that I didn't jettison backwards out of the chair.

Well, after getting my eyes dilated (and I thought my eyes looked really cool), they asked if I wanted to check on some new frames for glasses. Unfortunately, being blind as a bat, I would never know what they look like. My fear is that I would choose some SPED glasses that would have people question my mental capacity, especially in a professional setting. I respectfully declined.

Well, I did manage to get a new set of contacts, and have to go back to the doctor for a follow up appointment. I hope at least this time they know my name, and that they don't try dumping me in the gargantuan meat grinder that most certainly is in their basement.

Luckily, there's no restaurant attached to the doctor's office. So I have got THAT going for me at least...