I Didn't Think I Was In Madison Anymore...

Yesterday, after a long hiatus of not buying anything new, I decided that I needed to venture to Madison to look for some clothing for my upcoming trip to Puerto Vallarta, and needed to get some new black dress shoes that I seem to go through on a frequent basis. After getting the shoes, stopping for lunch, and then heading to Hilldale Mall to the former Marshall Fields (and gosh...I miss that store), I toodled around the store looking for stuff to buy.

I was happy that my wallet would be spared something given the 40 to 50% off that they had on several racks, and after all, I was looking for summer clothing at the end of the summer, and surely I should be able to find good buys. I managed to get 4 shirts, two pair of shorts and a re-stocking of my favorite cologne for next to nothing. When it came to ring up my purchases, I was a little thrown off with the fact that I suddenly realized that the woman at the cosmetics counter was from France, the woman ringing up my purchases was from some Eastern European country, and the two other clerks assisting other "guests" (god I love buzzwords....almost as much as I like getting a mallet to the head) were from Mexico and Turkey (or some other Middle Eastern country...probably Iran) respectively. There wasn't a single person working there at the time that was from the U.S. I almost thought I had somehow teleported to some foreign country. It was disturbing.

Not that my service was bad or anything, but the diminutive Slavic lady that assisted me was very difficult to understand, and Svetlana (I have no idea what her name was...) had one heck of a time getting the security "buttons" (for lack of a better word) off of the clothing. She kept getting distracted by the lack of room behind the check-out counter, and what should have taken just a few short minutes, ended up being about 20.

You see, in all of the distraction, she must have missed one of the security tags on one of the pieces of clothing. No sooner did I try to exit the store that I sent the entire alarm system off in Macy's. It was embarrassing.

I went back to the desk after being eyed up by about 20 "guests" and 10 staff people (none of which were from the U.S. originally), and the Mexican guy proceeded to review my receipt while the Turkish guy went over my clothing. I felt as if I were re-living a "Midnight Express" moment without the illegal contraband.

Again, they let me go, and again....yes....the alarms went off. Finally, seeing that there wasn't anything I had done that was illegal, they allowed me to go on my merry way. How kind of them.

I made it back to Janesville, and started unpacking my purchases, only to find out that on one of the shirts, there was still a security tag hidden under the collar of the shirt. Yes...my foreign staff missed it during their interrogation and search. Needless to say, originally I had thought that I got a great deal on my merchandise, only to have to go BACK to the store the next day (today) and have them take the security button off. After all, I didn't want the shirt to be ruined by the explosive dye pack that was attached to it.

All the way up to Madison, I kept fretting about having to explain why, as I came into the store, I set off the alarms. I kept rehearsing what I was going to say to the clerk, and kept worrying about whether or not it would even be the same personnel (god...let's hope so) that would be there when I arrived. Then I realized I didn't have my cell phone on me, which panicked me for the fear I had about being called into the manager's office and having to explain myself to security staff and the Madison police, because I was beginning to convince myself that it was going to happen. God, I said to myself, I hope THEY speak English.

Of course, I arrived 10 minutes early in my earnestness to get there, for the store didn't open right away. So yes, I still had to stew some more while I waited in my car. I went so far as to check out the parking lot and count the 14 people that were waiting to get in. I thought it would be best to let them all go in first, wait about 10 seconds, and then enter alone, just in case my delusion became reality.

Yes, I set the alarms off again.

I could have thrown up at that point.

I was then assisted by another lady (I think she was from the Philippines) who didn't even question the tag. She requested to see the receipt only to see which clerk it was that helped me yesterday in order to remind her that she needed to do a better job the next time. Then she apologized profusely for the error and inconvenience.

Wow. It was that simple. What a let down!

Well, instead of the shirt costing $40, it now cost an additional $10 with the mileage and gas expense it took to get there. And, one more thing....some jackass on the interstate kicked up a stone that put a crack in my windshield which now has to be fixed (yes, another unplanned expense)

My bargain, I'm finding out, isn't so much of a bargain anymore.

Oh well...