Ain't Gotta Ticket to Ride...And He Don't Care

As I looked out my window at work (as I do daily) the other day, and stared at the fountain out front, I noticed that at about 12:45 p.m. to about 1:00 p.m. every day there is a teal green Ford Explorer that circles the perimeter of the parking lot east of the Janesville Mall. It always goes really slowly. I have wondered what it was that this particular person was doing. Gas, for example, is not cheap by any means. Seeing this particular SUV going through its motions, I am guessing that on a good day (and driving all highway miles) that this person would be lucky to get about 12 miles to the gallon. However, I'm sure that at the speed this SUV circles, it's safe to say that during this 15 minute jaunt around the parking lot, the driver is probably getting about 10 feet per gallon.

I probably should have been focusing more on work, but odd behavior of people has always intrigued and easily distracted me. Take for example an experience I had a couple weekends ago.

As I was sitting on the patio at my favorite drinking establishment a couple Fridays ago, I was having a great time chatting with my friends. My back happened to be against the black wrought iron fencing surrounding the patio/drinking garden. I was unaware that anyone was coming up behind me, when all of a sudden I heard a, "hey buddy" behind me. I turned my head about 90 degrees to the right, and replied, "yes?" This short interaction repeated itself about 3 times, until finally this transient looking guy started explaining to me that he and his wife were trapped down in Janesville, and that they needed to get back to Madison where they lived. The problem was that they didn't have any money, and was wondering if I had any to spare.

I could empathize with his feeling of confinement in Janesville (Janesville sometimes has that effect on people). Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling very charitable, nor was I feeling the least bit sympathetic. In fact, my friend Ken was feeling less philanthropic than me. He flat out yelled at the guy and said," you haven't gotten to Madison yet?! Jesus, you've been trying to get to Madison for the last 5 years now! If you would have started walking back then, you would have at LEAST made it there 3 years ago!" Apparently taken aback, our friendly (and persistent) vagrant threw his hands up (as if to say WTF!) and said, "are you trying to ruin this for me?!" I'm sure that this vagrant's comment was meant to be either a) a sidebar comment best expressed internally, or b) a comment better saved for a private locale away from the person he was trying to scam.

Two things happened. 1) he didn't have the wherewithal to even realize he was thinking aloud, and 2) he literally stood less than two feet behind my ears (blessed with acute hearing I might add) and assumed I couldn't hear him. Oh yes, I heard him...and no, if it were up to me, he'd be putting on some heavy duty walking shoes. But I digress...

Odd behavior...yes back to the circling SUV. I finally realized what it was the person was doing. The driver's door was ajar, and low and behold...there was a Samoyed-looking dog trotting alongside the moving vehicle. Yes, this person was (for lack of a better descriptor) walking their dog from their car! I have heard of laziness before. I have heard of wastefulness, too. But man...that took the cake! After all, there are dog walking services, or doggy day care providers that will do this for you if necessary, and I'm sure that it isn't too terribly expensive. Hell, I'm sure that my visiting Madisonian would have been willing to walk this person's canine for money just to make it back home.

Maybe I'm on to something...