The Birds

I've come to the conclusion that I really like the beach. I like the ocean. I like the sand. I like the sun. I like how warm it is. Yesterday, for the first time since I was like 10 years old, I flew a kite on the beach. I had gotten a really cool kite that I had seen in a magazine, shaped in the outline of a shark. The kite is about 7 feet long, and as you look up at it from the sky, all you can see is the outline of this black shark, with its mouth open displaying a huge set of sharp, pointy teeth.

The seabirds didn't quite know what to think about this new avian friend in the sky. Most of them avoided it, but many of the seabirds that flew by, looked at it, squawked a bit, and then went on their merry way. It was relatively easy to fly, and again, was a perfect way to spend part of the afternoon. After all, yesterday was quite sunny and 81.

Afterward, my mom and I decided that we needed to go into town to get a few things from the grocery store. On the way, the Florida Highway Department must be in the process of doing several different projects, two of which happen to be from where we are staying, into Port St. Joe. At one point there was a flagman directing traffic around a blind curve on the highway. Either he was half-heartedly into his job, or was just slow to react (after all, this is the South), it seemed to take forever to get past the construction area. We ended up getting stuck behind a huge dump truck full of sand and whatnot, and what seemed to be a full load from the onset of his departure, turned out to be significantly less, as most of what he was hauling in the back was either leaking out, or being blown out by the wind.

I was tempted to flip the guy the bird.

Anyhow, we ended up getting the things we needed, toodled around the downtown area of Port St. Joe, and then headed back. Unfortunately for the city's economy, several businesses have closed shop or gone out of business. The economy has hit this area of Florida really hard, only to be exacerbated by new government restrictions on oyster fishing and protection, which is the livelihood of practically EVERYTHING down here.

Anyhow, in the evening, we ventured to Apalachicola to Boss Oyster Company for supper. I had a hankering for bay scallops, and last night's dinner was no disappointment. We were able to sit outside overlooking Apalachicola Bay and the inlet to the river, directly next to the wharf where several shrimping and fishing boats stood anchored, waiting for the next day's catch to commence.

While we were sitting on the patio outside, the menagerie of seabirds was a sight to behold. In two cases, the diners sitting on the patio opted to move inside, as there were several instances where there were hundreds of seagulls swarming around the area. My sister-in-law, who is no ornithologist, would have been as anxious as a cat laying in a room full of rocking chairs.

What was fascinating was how the restaurant had devised an interesting way to keep the birds from landing on the patio, by executing an intricate and random weaving of heavy test fish line in and out of the tables, canopies over the tables, and back overhead to the building. Apparently during the day, these fishing lines are shiny. By dinner time, they aren't, which makes the birds aggressive (seeing everyone eat nearby). By nighttime, birds go home to roost. Seagulls, for some reason don't like shiny fish lines, and therefore stay away, thus preventing unexpected surprises during dinner.

I was convinced I was pooped on twice during dinner.

At one point during dinner, my mom asked the server whether or not she had a B-B gun handy, as my mom informed her that it would be kind of fun to shoot at the seagulls. My mom then asked if there is any law against shooting seabirds. From the look on the server's face, she was taken aback, and then added "not to my knowledge. Wouldn't that be fun!" I am convinced my mother is Annie Oakley reincarnated.

Checking each other out to make sure there was no incendiary damages, my mom and I headed back to the beach house, and ended up enjoying a glass of this stuff called "Coco Vine," which is a libation that combines red wine with Dutch chocolate. It tastes like chocolate milk on ice and was quite tasty. And after thinking about how on earth someone would have thought to put chocolate and wine together, I then realized that this came from Holland. Someone must have had the munchies after smoking the reefer, and thought that such a concoction would be interesting.

Well, it's a winner.

The other thing I thought about after getting back was, all the people in the movie "The Birds" had to do to save themselves was to string a ton of heavy test fish line all over the city and over their homes, and it would have kept any deadly flying reptiles away...except at dinner time.

Apparently they didn't consult Boss Oyster company before making the movie.