Chapter 9- From October 12, 2008

After we went to the cathedral and made it back to the hotel, we got all of our gear together and then went downstairs to check out. We could have gotten by with not paying for two beers, but my conscience got the better of me, and I decided that I wanted to be honest, rather than have a “Red Corner” experience.

We then went to the airport, and once again, the Empress and her consort were over their baggage weight limit. And it wasn’t just one kilogram over, it was 9. I think we know why: when the Empress got into the van, you could tell that she had already been drinking, and it only was 11 a.m. Mom and I were discussing whether or not you could tell if someone was drinking vodka or not. She said that she could never tell, but remembered that dad always could. I may not have the nose of a bloodhound like my mother, but I can smell when someone’s been into the vodka: my freshman year Theta Chi experience made me VERY aware of what vodka smells like. I love my friend Monette, and when she had big hair back in the 90’s, she always kept a can of Aqua Net at the ready. Well, when someone drinks vodka, it reminds me of the smell of Monette’s Aqua Net.

Once again, going through security was an issue. Mom’s bag was searched carefully, but I sailed through without issue. On the other hand…..the Empress and her one man entourage….well, you know the drill. Yeah…the second time around, the same result.

Anyhow, we flew on Shanghai Airlines to Yichang, which is in Wuhan province of China. It was about an hour and a half flight, and the plane was new, and immaculately clean. And once again, the service was spectacular. We landed, and got to baggage claim. The number of packages that the gruesome twosome are acquiring are getting a bit alarming. Then again, they’ve stocked their bags full of wine and full of liquor, which is probably the reason why they were over the
weight allowance and had to pay and extra $25USD for it.

We were picked up by Billy, our tour guide, and Mrs. Shen, who I would have to say is THE worst driver I have ever seen in my entire life. More about that in a sec. Anyhow, of course the Empress needed to have a luggage trolley to porter their bags to the van. So again, mom and I waited for them to find the trolley for about 20 minutes. We got outside the airport, walked about 30 yards, and imagine that: there was our van.

We got into the van, and Mrs. Shen was driving. She was driving ALL over the road, in one lane, in the other lane, but most of the time in the middle of the two lanes. I felt like we should have gotten clearance for take-off from a control tower.

We then got to Yichang, which is a city of about 4 million people. Billy was very proud of his city, and we were very respectful of his giving us some information about it. I will say, though, that it is VERY different from Shanghai and Beijing. It certainly is not as affluent, and it is not as clean. Apparently there is a lot of mining there, for sulphur, phosphorus, and coal. In fact, there was a LOT of smog and haze, starkly apparent when we made a stop in the main square of the city. That was an interesting place, with lots of people there enjoying the day. The little toddlers have pants that are crotchless here, and so they just let their junk fly. Anyhow, one little boy, in the center of the park, decided to take a leak: on each one of the decorative lights in the central area of the park. That’s a brave kid, especially when you consider there were about 2000 people around watching him entertain himself with peeing on the lights. That kid was much braver than me. We then went to an embroidery factory, which, to me, was a bit overkill. But, we were cordial, and then proceeded to dinner. Dinner was excellent except for a significantly undercooked sweet-sour pork dish. I had one bite, and probably should have spit it out. I hope I don’t have worms….

The other dishes were green beans, potatoes, spicy beef, canton cabbage, rice (duh), and an eggplant dish that was FANTASTIC. After dinner, we got back to the van, and Mrs. Shen had to drive us to the nearest convenience store so that the Empress and TWF could get some liquor (AGAIN), which was right across the street. Mrs. Shen must have thought it was a drive through (even though NONE exist in China), and drove the van right up over the curb and onto the sidewalk, rather than parking in the street like everyone else. I’m beginning to think that Mrs. Shen got her driver’s license yesterday, got her temps, or got it free with a bowl of hot sour soup. She certainly is afraid of going the speed limit, since she always goes about 20 km/h under it. Even the city buses got annoyed, honked at her, and passed her. I’m thinking that this is not a good sign.

We made our purchases, and then we were on our way to the boat. I about crapped myself several times, as Mrs. Shen really didn’t know that driving in the other lane was for oncoming traffic, or that the double yellow line meant two way traffic. Apparently she wanted all of the lanes to herself, or enjoys a challenging suicidal game of chicken with oncoming traffic. I prefer to make it back to the U.S. in one piece.

After prying my knuckles off my knee and the seat in the van, I’ve never been so glad to get out of a car like I did today.

We boarded the boat, got to our cabin, and went upstairs for the orientation. We had a couple of beers or bloody mary’s, and now, we’ve retired for the evening. We haven’t seen our dynamic duo. I think that’s probably a good thing.

We’re setting sail tomorrow. From what I can see so far, the cliffs are very steep. I can’t wait to see what they look like tomorrow morning!