China Chapter 18

It was another early morning this morning. We had to leave Guilin at 5:30 a.m. to be to the airport to catch our China Southern Airlines flight to Guangzhou. It again was no surprise that nothing will ever run smoothly or in an uncomplicated fashion so long as we're traveling with the dynamic duo. The other two on our journey have accumulated so many additional things, not to mention that their bags are overweight by several pounds, that there was a big commotion at the ticket counter about all their stuff. Luckily, they had James there to once again (undeservedly) not to have to pay more than they did.

James, my friends, was probably one of the best guides I have ever had on a tour.

Anyhow, we got through security, and waited for our flight. There was a big travel tour from China on our flight, and I think most of them were first time fliers. They were up and about the cabin when they shouldn't have been. They were climbing over the seats during take off. They were ooh-ing and ah-ing at the TV screens that came down from the ceiling to go over the safety requirements. And they all tended to yelp in unison whenever the plane would dip in the air.

It was cute, but my affinity for their "cuteness" soon dissipated when I realized that about 4 of them were seated in the emergency exit rows of the plane. Like the catch phrase in our 2008 election, I feel that experience matters. I got the "not-so-fresh" feeling.

Luckily, on the other hand, there was no baby pooping incident this time, thank goodness.

We arrived in Guangzhou at about 9:30 a.m., and were met by our guide, Robert. Robert's English was not very good. Quite honestly, his enthusiasm for the tour mirrored how we felt: this part of the tour was more filler than substance. Guangzhou, from our brief hours of time there, unfortunately was a completely forgettable city, even though it's the hub of Canton (the anglicized version). I'm sure that there was more to it, but all we were able to see was a folk art museum that was completely forgettable (as most of the art in it was from about 1982 to the present).

We were then whisked away to the Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall, where we looked around the grounds. We went inside a huge theater hall, and proceeded to drop about 40 pounds of water weight, as it was about 88 degrees inside and about 2000% humidity. Going outside in the 92 degree weather with 92% humidity seemed like a cool breeze in comparison.

We were then taken to lunch. And I use the word lunch very, VERY loosely.

The restaurant we were taken to was in a slummy part of Guangzhou. There were lots of people out in the courtyard hosing themselves down (yes, like showering while clothed), doing laundry, and lounging around in grimy undergarments. It was less than appetizing. Then, we went into the restaurant....

Most restaurants I have frequented tend to have incredible smells of oregano, thyme, fried food, sesame oil. Yes, pleasant smells wafting from the door once you enter. The interesting twist or gimmick this restaurant used to lure patrons wishing to nosh was the stench of raw sewage, the kind that smells like a filthy men's urinal.

Perhaps they were going for an organic smell. Sometimes smells from other organs of the body aren't appetizing, and I think they aren't aware of that.

Because we didn't want to have fish (and god KNOWS where they would have gotten it in this restaurant) and were gun shy about duck, we requested chicken, pork, and beef. Well, let's just say that I was dead wrong earlier about thinking the food on our United flight to China was bad. In retrospect, I need to get a hold of that flight attendant to get a hold of that noodle recipe she offered to us. That would have been a welcomed meal.

We were blessed with a chicken curry dish with cold potatoes. The chicken: ALL chicken feet.
Yes, all chicken feet. The toe bones, the talons, the (I better stop as I'm starting to gag thinking about it)... It was disturbing.

Dish #2: undercooked beef in snotty brown sauce.
Dish #3: mystery fried meat surprise with pineapple.
Dish #4: grey fried rice. (the rice was supposed to be white rice)

It was the WORST food ever to grace a table of mine in my entire LIFE!!!

We then got dropped off at the nicest coffee shop in Guangzhou, according to Robert. Ironically, it was Starbucks.

We had about and hour and a half to kill before needing to be to the train station, so we walked up and down the streets of Guangzhou to kill some time, and to sweat off the lattes we purchased. After being accosted by several disturbing beggars (and in China, the beggars usually are very deformed, have severe burns, are missing limbs, or have genetic defects) on our way up the street, we retreated back to Starbucks where we waited for our guide to take us to the train station.

And this time, it wasn't the Empress or Dim Sum that were late. It was our guide Robert. Robert's rule is not to be on time like all other Chinese people.

We got to the train station, made it through customs (as Hong Kong is a Special Administrative Region administered by China) even though that, too, was a production. Robert really didn't give us very good instructions, and once we got on the train, I was thankful to be leaving Guangzhou. I was more worried about our luggage being broken into after hearing horror stories from some Australian passengers from our Yangtze River cruise trip. We were not given very good instruction about picking up our luggage.

Anyhow, we took the Kowloon express train to Hong Kong, which was very nice, quiet, and fast. We had to sit across from the Empress and To Wong Foo, but all day today, they were actually VERY decent. After getting off the train, not knowing where the hell we needed to go to get our checked baggage, and then getting through customs, we were met by our last guide, Natalie.

Nervous Natalie.

Natalie is a bundle of frenetic energy, that really makes me nervous. She talks about 300 miles per hour, and walks at a pace faster than a cheetah. The Empress was having difficulty in keeping up, as she had to push a large trolley of all of their purchases across several lanes of traffic to get to our tour bus. It was amusing and pitiful at the same time. I should have been a good samaritan and helped. But assisting should be offered and not expected. And the Empress expects....everything.

Our hotel, the Intercontinental Grand Stanford Hotel, was only about 5 minutes away, and is THE nicest hotel of all of them. Hong Kong is very beautiful, and reminds me a LOT of New York, only more compact. Mom and I refreshed ourselves before venturing off in the 88 degree humid weather, and we ended up walking up and down Mody Road before deciding we wanted real food to eat.

I was ready to eat my left arm (the valuable one-since I'm left handed). Going against all principles about not eating at American food chain-type restaurants when traveling abroad, we ate at an Outback Steakhouse. We were tired. We were hungry. And I preferred to keep my left arm.

And it was delicious. The Foster's beers were a) on a double bubble special, and b) were served in frosted mugs that still had ice dripping from them. And the food was delicious.

We walked back to the hotel at about 8 p.m., and mom immediately went to bed. We have a half day of activities tomorrow, and then a whole lotta shopping to do.

More to come from Hong Kong!