China Chapter 15

Well, last night we went to the Tang Dynasty show in the evening. We got to this huge theater, and sat at our dinner table. It was very nice. There was a Brazilian couple sitting behind us, and had their own table for two. Unbeknownst to them, two unruly Chinese men (with their own snacks) decided to sit at their table with them. An argument ensued, and while the Chinese men didn't move, they moved the Brazilian couple right in the middle of the aisle so they'd have their own table.

Well, the dinner was fantastic, although the Orange Surprise Soup for dessert truly was a surprise. It was surprisingly bad. With snotty-like gelatin stuff floating in it, I took about 2 bites and said "no mas," and when these biscuit thingies came by, I thought they'd be good too....and I ended up spitting them out.

On the other hand, the show itself was fantastic. Tang dynasty costumes are very beautiful, plus the traditional Chinese instrumental music was something else. There then was a guy that was like Zamfir, only cooler, and when he played the pan flute, it was really utterly amazing! The show lasted about an hour and a half, and then we headed back to the hotel. Mr. Lee, our driver, was there to pick us up, as Susan had to leave for home. We got outside, and it was POURING rain out. Luckily, it was late at night, and really was the only time that it has rained on our trip.

Susan informed us that we had to get up early in the morning, and that the van had to leave at 5:30 a.m. By the time we got back to the hotel, it was about 11 p.m. Mom and I got everything packed, and I think we immediately fell asleep.

We were up this morning early. REALLY early. Like 4 a.m.

Well, part of the reason for the early departure was that the airport is about 1 hour from the city, and in October, things can be really foggy. Once again we waited for the dynamic duo to be on time, to no avail. They certainly complain a lot. I was really expecting the Empress to insist that we have a later flight, or insist that we leave later so as not to have to wait so long at the airport for the flight to leave. But this time, she said nothing.

We got to the airport, checked in, got our tickets on China Eastern Airlines to Guilin, and got to the gate. Of course, it was an ordeal, AGAIN, for them (as they again had lighters, water, etc., etc., etc.). You'd think people would learn or just TRY to make things simpler. Unfortunately with the two high maintenance people we're with, that's never going to happen.

Well, we got on the plane, and I had the fortune of sitting next to two Chinese women carrying a baby girl with them. The baby was adorable, but fussed for a good share of the trip. I would try to make the baby smile, or interact, and I think my strange caucasian face really scared the hell out of the kid. Then again, when I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, I have the same reaction as the kid.

Anyhow, at the beginning of the trip, the baby must have had a blowout in her diaper, as it was totally obvious from the fragrant smell that traipsed its way through the cabin. The mother got up, took the kid back to change the diaper, and came back. When she got back, the breakfast service had ended, and I noticed that like many Chinese infants and toddlers (like I have mentioned before), this little girl had the crotchless pants, only this time, WITHOUT a diaper.

To say that this made me somewhat unsettled is an understatement. I worried the whole way to Guilin that something bad was going to happen. I kept waiting and waiting. Mom noticed that this little girl had the crotchless clothing, and remarked about how cute it was. No sooner did she say that and turn her head, I looked at the kid, and suddenly, we apparently got on the flight to Puping. Like Linda Blair from the Exorcist (only from the back end) that little girl took the HUGEST, WETTEST dump I have ever seen. It was a horizontal geyser of smelly brownish green poo, landing on the mother's sweatshirt, her pants, and all over the baby's jacket. The smell was hellish.

To make light of the situation, I kept thinking about what my friend Steve would have thought and done if he were in my shoes this morning. And, it really made me laugh. And it made me laugh hard.

We got to Guilin, and were picked up by James, our guide. James is quite funny, about 38-43 years old, and his English is fantastic. And, I would say, I like him almost as much as Mrs. Xu. He really won me over today when he and the driver of the van scolded the Empress and Won Hung Low for having too many pieces of luggage.

Did I mention to you before that they keep accumulating stuff? I think they're at about 8 pieces of carry on luggage. Furthermore, I respect James for helping mom with her ONE suitcase, and enjoyed watching the other twosome struggle with their two trollies of luggage. It looks like they're moving in somewhere...

Because it was early in the morning, we saw the Reed Flute Cave, and the Fu Bo Hill. It was pretty amazing. Guilin is very different from any of the other cities we've visited so far. It's much more agrarian, it's smaller (700,000 residents), the pace is laid-back, and the weather warm and humid. It's very beautiful here, with lots of limestone peaks randomly dotting the landscape. After having a wonderful lunch of sweet sour pork, beef and mushrooms, kung pao chicken, spicy sour soup, egg omelet, snow peas, and oranges, we then went to the Fu Bo Hill. We had a great talk with the guide, saw bamboo rafts fishing on one of the Li River tributaries, as well as young boys diving for river snails, and ladies doing laundry on the riverbank. It's pretty amazing. It doesn't look dirt poor or dirty like it did in Chongqing, but rather peaceful, and more like what I would imagine Southeast Asia to be.

We got to the hotel, and were just relaxing before we head out for a boat ride around the city of Guilin. I would say that so far, I like Guilin the best, as it's got lots of fresh air, little pollution, the river is clean, and the scenery is beautiful.

I'm excited about the river cruise tonight, as mom and I have a tradition of going on at least one city river tour during our vacations. This time it will be Guilin.

We have one more day tomorrow in Guilin, and then we're off to Guangzhou for a tour, and then a train ride to Hong Kong.

I can't believe that we're getting in the home stretch of the vacation, but I'm certainly loving everything I've learned and seen so far, and China, easily, is becoming my favorite place I have ever visited in my lifetime.